this is not a call to you.

sometimes I just wished that I had someone who would take me serious for once and listen to what I have to say instead of constantly putting me down whenever I have some shit happening in my lives, which is rather on a daily basis.

I admit that I get pretty jealous whenever I see any 2 friends/couples behaving very intimately. I don't want another half, but I just want someone to be there nearby whenever shit happens. Because, certain friends tend to be alittle far away, and by the time they arrive, it's like "Thank you for your effort, but what's the point?"

I need a serious conversation, a heart to heart talking session, a bawl my eyes out session with someone who takes me seriously. all the potential candidates have disappointed me miserably.

As much as I'm constantly yakking that I'm rather independant. Oh well. like what the fuck.

and another you, why can't you treat me the same way you treat her? didn't you just gave the both of us the same positions?

I fucking need a break la. thus, ive planned my break perfectly well. I've decided to either slit my wrists, breathe in more glue, get some weird shit infection, eat more durians to get fever, get soaked in the rain and proceed to dry myself under the fucking hot sun so i'll fall sick, eat expired food, anorexia - eat and puke, do either one of them, and do it well.

it's like do also die, don't do also die, might as well do your fucking best and die?

due to high fever, or physically/psychologically hurt, i'll get admitted to hospital. can't eat, and will be put on drip. will probably stay in the hospital for like 2 weeks? not bad, on drip can lose weight. stay in hospital can stay away from school.

and avoid people that I don't really wanna see because all they do is to reopen old wounds and smear salt all over-again. If i get admitted to hospital, i then don't have to fake as if i'm really liking everything i see because apparently, im not.

No, i don't need your sympathy right now, just give me a fucking break for God's sake.

signing off,
the happiest girl that ever lived on the earth,
lynette lee ai ling.